Happy New Year! I think this may have been the longest I've gone without writing. I hope all is well with everyone so far. We're 11 days in and it's already been slightly eventful. I don't know about you, but 2013 was one hell of a year. Worth it, though. Today it's rainy and cold in Parkville, MD. Ludo is passed out, Metric is playing in the background, Laura is at the salon, so what better a time to write than now?
So let's go.
For Christmas, I was in South Florida. Before I really say anything about that, let me just stress that a 17 hour drive, by yourself, is not healthy. I was starting to imagine myself singing on broadway, then writing a broadway play, then being in a band in some bar. It was messy and delusional. Weirdly fun though. Back to the story. When I got to South Florida, I didn't expect to feel what I felt. Initially, I thought I would fill up with happiness and excitement. Instead, I felt nothing but dread. I already missed my apartment, my friends, my girlfriend, everything. I missed my family, of course, and the few friends I have but other than that, I didn't miss the sights. I didn't miss the beach. I didn't miss the bars. I didn't miss the familiar but distant faces. I didn't miss my home. That's such a sad thing to say, isn't it? People would usually miss their old stomping grounds, right? I guess it's because I have nowhere to call my own there anymore. Baltimore is my home now. 100%. I love it up here.
The sights, the history, the bars, the people, the shitty drivers, the crazy highways, everything. There's so much diversity! Being only 3 hours from NYC also has it's perks. Since moving here, I've been to NYC 3 times already(I plan on going much, much more!). DC is still one of my favorite places. I enjoy the memories I've made there over the years. From 2010-present, there's so many things I've done and still need to do in that big, beautiful city. I'm dying to go back to the Zoo! In Baltimore itself, the city, my favorite place is called Fells Point. It's right on the harbor, the bars range from frat filled to PRL-like. I love it. It also has the best coffee joint I've ever been to. It's called The Daily Grind. Yum!
I also got a new car. It's a 2013 Hyundai Elantra. My Honda Fit decided her time was up, stopped accelerating, and started to fill up with smoke when I was "driving" her. She did her best and lived a very eventful life. Haha. My new car is more accommodating though in regards to the weather here. The front and back window defroster is great when it comes to those icy days, along with the traction control, I think it was a wise decision. However, I hate having another bill to pay. New car insurance(more expensive!!) and the car payment, ugh. Color me crazy! It was necessary though. This one should last me a while.
My apartment is very cute. I do have a roommate but she's never here. She's always at her boyfriend's house so Laura pretty much lives with me now haha. Unless she's at her own apartment. We're starting to look for places together and plan on moving in with one another in August if everything goes according to plan. So far, so good. We definitely have our ups and downs. We're already two girls dealing with an over-abundance of estrogen but we're also both gemini's!(Ahh!). It doesn't seem like it's been that long, but our one year is coming up February 16th. I'll also have lived here for a year come February 1st.
I just hope this year is a good one. I need things to make sense again. To feel good. I'm still a happy person, I'm just over the bullshit. I'm over constant hopefuls and maybes and sorrys and okays and everything else. I've grown tired. Not pessimistic, realistic. Oh fuck. It's happening isn't it? The twenty-something crisis? I've heard so many of my older friends say the same thing I just said. I just never put two-and-two together. Hm.
People are different here. They do things differently. Everyone has graduated college at the time you're supposed to, there's not many high school drop outs, it's strange. Yet, people look and point at me like I'm the guy walking around with two heads. They don't understand that where I come from, it's a different land. High School and College drop-outs aren't unusual. Working retail or restaurant isn't desperation, it's a job. It pays the bills. It gets shit done. I get shit done. I'm trying to better myself here and I'm hoping to enroll in College this semester but it may have to wait until summer. I'm just sick of being seen or known as the broke outsider.
Btw, I'm venting at this point.
I'm sick of being different. I love being unique but sometimes being different, here, isn't necessarily good. A girl walks in with snakebites, gauges, and tattoos and boom, you're labeled as trouble. Why? I know plenty of people that are successful and they look like me! But I guess people see what they want to see. People worry. I get that. But why is it so hard to worry AND take a risk? The world is much too interesting and beautiful to just surpass without even a glance.
I'm different here. I hate it…but I love it.
See ya.
No comments:
Post a Comment