For majority of my life, I've tried living up to people's expectations. Doing what they say is right, wearing clothes I didn't want to, and being someone who wasn't really me. Albeit, I had my times when I'd show my true colors, but only for people to catch a glimpse. It wasn't until recently that I decided to deviate from my plan of following said routine and go in the complete opposite direction. The place and person that makes me feel like I'm doing something right. Regardless of the time and effort it takes.
I have nothing to lose. People say well, where's you're self respect? Your integrity? Your self devotion? Well, it's there. But it doesn't stop me from doing what I think is right. For me and only me. It's normal for people to freak out over the unexpected, cry over getting the opposite of what they want, and hurt when everything they knew is suddenly gone. It's called confusion. Change makes people uncomfortable because they no longer know what to expect. It used to drive me mad to not know what was going on with whom and where it was happening. But now, I've shed that skin. That's all it was. A veil of an age. But now I know better. Now I'm wiser and less ignorant. My thoughts and self control have reached such a climax, I thought it infinite. It's not. Nothing ever is. We're all bound to break at some point. We just have to remember that it's only a moment. A time to look back on and say "Damn! Did I really do/say/think that way?!" I do. I look back and think to myself that my god, I was so juvenile! Sometimes it even leaves a bad taste in my mouth. That's youth though. It's life. We grow and evolve.
So today, I confidentially say that I'm going for whatever I feel is right for me. It may bite me in the ass but hey, you only live once so why not?
There will be no blank spaces within my painting.
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