Doubtful Believers

I'm not oblivious. I just act that way. It's easier for me to go about living the way I do if people really believe that I'm that ignorant to obvious facts. But I'm not.

I know when there's a pink elephant in the room, I just ignore it. I know when people don't want me around, I just look the other way. I know when someone doesn't want to be alone with me, but I let that feeling go.

I used to over analyze. And I always knew when I was. But nowadays, I know my gut is always right. It just sucks to think that certain people think I have ulterior motives. I can feel it. And realistically, I don't. I have my own stuff to deal with. I have no time to try and work on other things with other people.

So I'll set this straight.

I want nothing more than friendship. From anyone. If within time something develops, so be it. But I have no expectations nor do I plan on forcing anything to happen. Fate has lead me to where I am. I'm not delicate, dramatic, or juvenile in any way anymore. I know right from wrong and truth from lie.

What is in the past belongs there. I'm not looking to renew anything. I'm at a point where building from the ground up is the most ideal situation.

I've let it go. So why is it that I feel people are still afraid of the old me? If I've let her go, why can't everyone else? If everyone else is allowed to change and become a new person, why can't I? Where's my benefit of the doubt? I wish someone could answer this for me.