Tonight isn't such a great night for me. I'm emotionally exhausted. I feel outdated. I feel broken. I feel lost. I feel confused. I feel angry. I feel sad. I feel regretful. I feel scared. I feel strong. I feel weak. I feel and feel and feel. I sick of feeling. I want to be numb. I want to forget everything that put me here. I want to leave this cynical city and find myself surrounded with green. Where skies are blue, the air is fresh, and the biggest worry is whether or not I'll make it home in time for dinner. I want to pretend. I want to be the prince or princess or toad or fucking castle. I want to slay a dragon and become the hero. Only for a day. I want to believe none of this ever happened. If only for a day.
But I guess that's what life is. A place full of "if onlys" and "what ifs" and "whys". I guess that's the main reason why I'm not afraid of death....atleast then I'll have answers. And, god forbid if I don't, I'll be dead. So it won't matter any more. I need to leave this place. And by place, I don't mean earth. I mean South Florida. I need to leave and go away. I need. I need. I need. But I'm stuck.
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