So today wasn't the best, but it wasn't the worst. Or so I keep telling myself. I know it's true though. I don't have it as hard as some other people out there. My heart may not have a home, but that doesn't mean it's alone. I still have my family, my friends, and my music. Which, up until now, I didn't realize just how important was to me. Music follows my mood. If I'm angry, sad, happy, or neutral, so are the tunes running out of my speakers. And though it may allow the people around me to feel the mood as well, it's a lot better than what someone else may doing. I used to have a lot of different releases. Some of which were safe, and some, not so much. But music has always been one of them.
But maybe that's the problem. I'm always trying to find a solution to a problem instead of accepting it for what it is. I can't look at a house and just see a beautiful home. I'm always curious to know what's inside of the walls. That's something I want to change. I want to take everything for what is and only that. I don't want to read too deep into things and constantly have to know the answers. Because sometimes, there is no answer. Sometimes, all that's presented is all the knowledge you'll receive. And that drives me crazy. I feel as I've gotten older, I've just gotten more analytical. And if there's something I can't figure out, it makes me sick. It literally makes me feel like someone is hammering nails into my skull and stepping on my stomach. That's not something I want to live with. It's unhealthy and has brought me misfortune. I'm not saying it's completely a bad thing, I'm just stating that there's a time and place. And if I don't fix it now, I'll be walking in circles forever.
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