What a fine sensation.

Things are looking up. Every day I'm presented a new opportunity. Some I don't take and others I gladly accept. Today, for example, I was offered a job answering the phone at an Asian restaurant no more than 2 minutes from my house. I gladly accepted the offer and I should be starting next week. The pay is, funnily enough, 7.50. Whereas everywhere else it's 7.31.

All day I had this feeling in my gut that something was coming. I didn't know what it was going to be but I knew it would be beneficial to my needs. Majority of the time I'll be answering the phone and taking orders, but she also said I would be working delivery at nights sometimes. She's a very sweet person. Which is strange considering the last asian restaurant I worked in, the owner was a cunt!

Tomorrow starts a new day. A new story. I was invited to join in on a video shoot for a rap video and of course I accepted. It's nothing huge. I'll just be a party-goer with a beer in hand. An extra haha. Then that evening, it's the amazinggg potluck that Amanda and her roommates are throwing. I'm baking desserts. I'm very excited. And then after that, Amanda and the girls are dragging me to a lingerie party. I've already gave them notice that I will not be dressing skanky whatsoever. A nice top, make up and new hairstyle will do just fine.

I'm a bit all over the place, blog. My mind seems to refuse focus. It's heading in so many directions so quickly, I feel as though I'm just breezing through life. And that's okay with me. Because I finally admitted to myself that I'm at a point in my life where I have no clue who I am. I changed. And my, what a struggle it's been. But it's not bad. It's quite the contrary actually. Since I've been able to admit that to myself, I've been happier. I'm 21. I've reached that age where I know what I want to do in life, I just don't know who I'll be.

Life has the potential to be something great and mind-blowing. People just get lazy and pass it up. Well, that's no long an issue for me. I have a job lined up, I'm getting school figured out, I'm taking care of myself. I'm even learning how to cook on my own! I'm still not great though, haha.

I've also let go. I've let go of the fact that things don't work out. That regardless of my beliefs, nothing lasts forever. I've released this worry of worrying, I guess you could say. I'm okay. With everything. I'm happy. Maybe not 100%, but I'm definitely on my way. I realize that who I began in your eyes..is not who I ended in your eyes. I'm not sure if that makes the most sense but hey, give me a break. Haha. I guess what I'm trying to say is that when you first saw me, I was something made of steel. Strong, independent, durable. But at some point, you saw me as nothing but porcelain. Fragile. I don't know if it was my fault, your fault, or anyone's fault really. Regardless, I understand.

I wouldn't want to be with someone who I could tip and they would break into a thousand pieces. I'm just happy to say that I'm happy. I'm happy that I'm gaining control. That I'm getting help. Not only from therapy and psychiatry, but also from myself. And from books. Lots of books haha. I've been reading a lot again.

I'm happy. I thought you should know.