Do what you gotta do. We're on different levels now. And you're right. I don't know a lot of sides of you. Only one. And that's a side I hope to soon forget. And maybe I will stop wanting you. Maybe I won't. Actually, scratch that. At the rate this is going, which is 0, it will. I'll no longer want to be with you and you'll no longer have an effect on me. I mean, lets face it. I'm already close to that point. When I found out, I cried a little and I got angry for a moment, but then I got over it. I smoked a bowl and moved on with my night.
It's not my life. It's yours. I'm human, so of course I was affected, but it wouldn't be rational for me to actually let it control me. I'm not mad. A bit disgusted, sure. But not mad. I realize that the person you are now is not a person I want myself to be with. You were. At one point I saw a full future with you. But that died some time ago. To be honest, that died before we even broke up. To be COMPLETELY honest, that died when we broke up the first time. But I tried and tried and tried. It never really came back. I guess I sort of lied to myself.
That's my bad. But, we all make stupid mistakes. I'm done making mine.
Good luck in life, Nik. I'm hoping this will be the last blog entry that will be written for you. I have nothing else of importance to say.
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