And so Kelsey speaks.

I wonder if you lay down at night and have the same thoughts or feelings? I'm curious to know what runs through your head. Or rather, if you even do think about it. I lay awake and think of us. Of me. Of who I was and who I am now. I wonder if you still have a problem falling asleep like I still do. Or if you wake up and recall your dreams being filled with me like mine are of you. 

I told you that, someday, I'd become me again. Well, I lied. I became someone better. I became not only Kelsey again. I became an adult. I've been taking responsibility for my faults. I'm able to look at myself and see someone with ambition. Someone who has a life worth living. And the biggest surprise that I stumbled upon was the fact that the life I found that was worth living was my own. And for myself. It's not for anyone else. That shocked me. 

I messed up. But one more thing I learned, amongst the many, is that ruin is beautiful. Ruin is the best time for transformation. And my, what a castle I am now. To go from being brick upon the dirty floor to have marble tile and crystal chandeliers is a stunning sight to see. 

None of this is your fault. I created my own monster. I allowed the demon inside to take over. What I became and whom I transform into is no ones fault but my own. No matter who I blamed. I was just much too blind to see it. But my eyes are now open. Of course, I have you to thank for that. You broke me. But you also gave me the chance to rebuild myself. 

And for that, I am thankful. You were brought into my life for a reason. And maybe this is it. Maybe this was supposed to happen and that's it for us. But I still think there's more. I feel as though underneath that pile of rubble that I was and that we both became, we'd be able to create something even better. 

I could be wrong. Or I could be spot on. I just hope I have the chance to find out. And maybe I will. But I won't bug you about it. You need to see this change for yourself. You know my exact feelings on all of it. And whenever you feel ready, you let me know what your final answer is. Regardless of whether I'll like it or not. I'm a big girl and quite possibly the strongest I've ever been. Just always remember, there will always be a corner in my heart for you. No matter how far or close we are from each other, I will do anything for you. 

"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." 

And it's true. Regardless of where we are in our lives, be it together or not, I promise to always be your shoulder to cry on, your strength when you need it, your laugh in the time of sorrow, and your ear when you feel as though no one is listening or understands. So long as you let me, that is. 

I love you, my very own personal little foot. :)