A start to a new beginning? Or just a path diverged in a wood?

I'm not scared. Not anymore. I know what I must do. What I want to do. And for once, I'm acting on it. But I am nervous. Not because I'm afraid things won't work out. Nothing like that. I'm nervous because I'm leaving everything I know. I'm also leaving the one thing I want most. But...then again...I'm not leaving anything. I'm just going away. I'm still available. I'm still reachable. I'll just no longer be an arms length away. For me, that's weird. I can't drop everything for anyone anymore. Not once I'm gone. It's not a bad thing though. I guess it's more of a good thing. I can finally focus on myself and my life. What Kelsey needs to do.

I'm not too sure what to write here tonight. I know I feel like writing. I haven't done it in so long now. But I'm also so distracted. My mind is going a thousand miles per hour about everything. Myself, school, my mom, my sister, Lydia, Nikole, my friends, everything. And I'm not so sure how to write it all down. I literally have no clue.

I know I want to move. There's no doubts or anything. It's just weird. A month ago, I would've told you me and my girlfriend were moving to St. Petersburg. And now, I'm single and moving to Tallahassee by myself. I guess there's just so much changing so quickly that my brain doesn't know how to handle it. Let alone even approach it.

I just feel like my life is starting to make sense again. I feel so motivated to do something with myself...but...I still feel this magnetic pull towards Nikole. Like she is meant to be a significant part of my life. To be my girlfriend and one day more. I just can't shake it. I'm fine not talking to her all the time and not seeing her everyday. That doesn't bother me. But this feeling. This I-don't-know-what-the-hell-this-is kind of feeling is driving me a littttlllleee crazy. It's not stopping my life or anything but my god what is it?!?!? I'm leaving it up to fate to help me figure out what it is. I just wish I could shake it the hell off. It's weird and it's something I've never felt before.

Come on, universe. Help me out here and give me some answers. Or a sign. A symbol maybe? A brush of wind? A rock in my shoe? Something???

This blog was scattered. Like my brain! Enjoy.