It's amazing what pictures can do! Some people might think I'm crazy by saying that looking at pics of me and Nikole together actually relieved me. Instead of it making me sad, it made me realize just how bitter and low I had become. I'm not saying its her fault. I'm saying that I was so caught up in her and only her that I went crazyyyyy. Haha. Completely bonkers! But by seeing those photos, I was able to see the old Kelsey. The real Kelsey. And I cannot wait to be her again! It's too bad that I won't be able to share my real self again with Nikole, but I'll get over it at somepoint. Right now may suck, but the future I'm sure has plenty of opportunities.
Though, I am sad I'll never be able to show Nikole who I'm becoming again. I'm becoming the same girl she fell in love with. And it feels great! But I'm sure, due to my past behavior, she would think I'm doing this all just to get her back or grovel or some shit. Absolutely not. Not this time. This time it's allll me. And I am staying this way, baby! I got that stick out of my ass and it's staying out. I hope one day you'll be able to see me like this. Maybe then...well...just maybe.
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