Repercussions

I'm so torn. I promised you I would fight for you. But should I? You told me you don't want to be with me. But what if that changes? I want to talk to you, but at the same time I want you to talk to me. I want you to call me and just say "I'm picking you up." I want you to tell me you need me in your life. Either as your girlfriend or your friend. I just want you to initiate some sort of meeting. Some sort of conversation. I want to as well. But I don't feel as though I should. I tried. And I did. But you didn't want any of it.

It kills me to not talk to you. To not hang out with you or see you. You're such a big part of life. Not only as a lover, but also as a friend. You're my other half either way. And I hate that I lost all of that. Again. This is why I feel like we'd be good together. Hard, but great nonetheless. Because you're my other half. You complete me in ways no one else can. You also talk to me in ways no one else can. I know you have other people to surround yourself with. More so than I do that's for sure. But I can't help but want to meet up and just talk. Just see you and feel you next to me. Though I know that would be torture. I know that I would want to kiss you and hold you and be engulfed in your presence.

I wonder if you feel the same. I think you do. But that might just be wishful thinking.

I'm always going to be around. As hurt as I am, if you find yourself missing me and needing me in any way, you know how to get a hold of me....I'll never fully leave you. I don't think I could even if I wanted to..